Note to Self:

Don’t even think of having five children. You’ll never make it out with your sanity.

Seriously. I don’t know how people do it. Yesterday, I once again had a whopping five girls show up for the Monday afternoon group. Five girls, between the ages of eight and fourteen—one of whom just had a giant coffee from Starbucks, another of whom is, I can only imagine, naturally hyperactive. And the people at the LYS made the mistake of placing the magic candy jar within easy reach of the whole lot of them.

Right after I showed up, Miss A arrived. She came two weeks ago to learn to knit. She’s actually doing really well, though I’m thinking she’s a bit of a perfectionist, and she was quite upset by the fact that her scarf had a whole in it (and had somehow gained 7 stitches). Not only that, but she decided that the yarn was getting a bit boring, and she wanted to do something else. We ended up ripping out her scarf and starting a smaller one for her doll.

Miss S was the next to arrive. Her scarf is coming along quite nicely, though she’s pretty annoyed by the fact that her yarn splits quite a bit.

Then the crowds rushed in. Miss C and Miss H arrived at the same time, and Miss E the New showed up with her mom right around then as well. And then all heck broke loose. From then until 6, there were constantly at least two conversations going on at the same time (usually three)—and I, of course, was expected to be listening to all of them. Miss H, fueled by coffee, had plenty to talk about, but Miss A was having none of it. As soon as Miss H would open her mouth, Miss A would:

a)start talking about something totally unrelated
b)start talking about something kinda related, only something about her instead
c)announce how much work she’d done on her scarf
d)start freaking out that she’d done something wrong and demand that I fix it right away
e)start freaking out about something that she just saw on my knitting (i.e.: “OMIGOSH! DUDE! WHAT’S THAT THING ON YOUR NEEDLE?”), at which point I would make her take a deep breath (which usually took a few tries) before explaining that it was a point protector

Eventually, I cut Miss A off from the candy jar.

Is it a full moon? Because these kids were out of control. It was fun and highly entertaining, but it was totally out of control. Fortunately, Miss C and Miss S managed to talk amongst themselves for the most part. And Miss E the New stuck to her knitting and just injected some of her dry wit into the conversation from time to time. But after a while, my head started to spin. By 6, I had learned all kinds of interesting things—and I’d heard the words “chicken butt” way more times than I’d ever wanted to.

As the girls left, the evening knitting class arrived. Miss Carol and the Sock Princess (both of whom really, truly are going to be at Caribou this Thursday) were both there, and I wanted to hang out and chat, but I was no longer coherent. The voices in my head were too loud, and I could no longer say anything but “chicken butt.” So I went home. As soon as I got through the door, I requested a gin and tonic. Make that a double.

When I got into the house, there were five roses waiting for me, today being the fifth anniversary of Paul’s nearly disastrous (but really funny in hindsight) proposal. He mixed me a drink, and we threw together a quick-and-easy dinner and watched Olympic curling while we waited for it to cook.

In sweater news, I was hoping to separate the sleeves last night, but I tried it on, and I have a few rounds to go. Maybe I’ll take a little lunch break time to work on it today. Or maybe I’ll work on finishing up the Super Secret Mystery Project, which is still making the girls crazy—because I still won’t tell them what it is.

In the meantime, Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! Treat yourself to a little extra knitting today. And a little chocolate. And some candy hearts. Because you deserve it.

PS - To Michelle, who commented on yesterday's post, and any others who suffer from Knitting ADD: anyone want to join me in the Knitting ADD Olympic Challenge? I'm thinking we'll start around now, and we'll try to finish maybe by the end of March-ish? Anyone with me? Anyone know how to create a good button?

PSS - Oh, yeah...and if you haven't read Maggie Sefton's Knitting Mystery, Needled to Death, be sure to read my review.